Are you wedding stressed?
WELLBEING: PAUL SCADDING
Along with moving house and changing jobs, weddings are up there with the most stressful life events. With his big day only weeks away, Q&C’s life coach Paul Scadding tells us why he’s not giving in to stress and how anyone can survive the anxiety in the lead-up to their nuptials.
For the last several months I have been planning my wedding that will take place on 4th August and there is one question that I have been asked over and over again, “Are you stressed?” My answer is always, “No”. Why are you not stressed I hear you cry? Because I choose not to be, it’s as simple as that. People often think that stress is useful or inevitable, and whilst a little stress and pressure is useful to get things done there is a tipping point that is unhealthy and unnecessary.
Whilst we cannot always control what goes on around us, or what life gives us, the difficulties, the disappointments and the setbacks; we can always control how we respond. The quality of our lives is dependent on our mindset and it applies to all areas of life. Life has never been more complex or held so much opportunity, so we need to be in control of our own minds to thrive on life's challenges and not sink under the weight of it all.
Stress is a choice and not one I recommend you opt for. When my lovely soon-to-be husband and I decided to get hitched, we set an important and powerful intention, to enjoy each moment and not get stressed. The wedding starts the moment you say yes. It's not a single event, you might be planning your wedding for months, maybe even years, so you can either be stressed out of your mind for twelve months or embrace and enjoy the whole process from start to finish. Weddings can be a wonderful experience if you are mindful and keep your head.
Paul's top five tips to keep the wedding stress at bay:
Planning is key. You are headed for major stress if you leave everything to the last minute. Make some time for planning and get really clear on what you want your day to be. This could be as simple as starting with three key words. Matt and I agreed we wanted our day to be fun, relaxed and colourful. These three words have been the core around which everything else has been planned. If planning is not your thing get help from someone you know who has this skill-set or if necessary, get a wedding planner.
Focus on You. The minute you announce your engagement everyone is going to have an opinion on how you should do it, what flowers to have, how the big the cake should be etc. I want you to remember that this is your day; you and your partner. You will drive yourselves crazy if you try to please everyone. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate your love. Also, try to remember that there will be people close to you (Mothers) who are excited for your big day and want to feel a part of it, so try to include them where you can. It will mean the world to them.
Keep an eye on the money honey. Weddings can be a costly business. As soon as you make a call to a venue, florist or DJ and mention marriage, zeros seem to magically get added to everything. If you don’t keep an eye on the bottom line costs can soon spiral. Set a maximum budget to give you a focus, and allow for just a little overspend. Shop around and get at least three quotes for everything.
Do it your way. Just because something is traditional does not mean it's for you. For example, we are not doing rings as neither of us wanted them. Your wedding is an expression of your love so the more personal you make it the better.
Be in the moment. When the day finally arrives I want you to remember to breathe and take it all in. There comes a point when you have to accept you have done all you can and if there is a problem or setback you’ll sort it. Keep your head and don’t let anything ruin your day. If you are stressed you will be running on adrenaline and the chances are the day will rush past you and you won’t be able to enjoy yourself. Be present, have fun and make memories.
If you are getting married this summer I hope you have a wonderful day.
Read more about Paul and his work at his website: www.paulscadding.com
You can also follow Paul on Instagram: @paulscadding